vegas, here I come!

So my fabulous friend Marilyn has two weeks in Las Vegas via her timeshare and has invited me to come out for some r&r before school begins and to kiss away the squirrelly-ness of this the Summer Of Sorrow (SOS, which I must credit Walter with this witty phrase. Damn you Walter for thinking of it first!).

To say that this is almost necessary for me, well, I hate to sound like a stuck-up-bitch, but it is. I am so goddamn burned out. On all of it. The last two weeks at work have been full of me shaking my head at the absolute stupidity of every other person (but they just can't help themselves, can they?). The apartment has been further delayed to the end of this month, which just means two more weeks of being a step above being homeless. All the mail has for me is bills. My computer no longer recognizes the internet connection at Marilyn's (even though it happily did before!), so I have been without the lifeline that is the internet for me. I am totally stuck in Tortilla Flat, haven't gotten fifty pages in, even. My swimsuit and other necessary items to travel to a hot climate where swimming happens just so happened to be in the bag at the highest and furthest back point of my storage locker.

The other thing, the other part, is that my life has been so full, to the point of absolute brimming, to the point of no sleeping, no time for myself, which on the one hand I love, but on the other hand, I just can't take much of it before I have to put it all to halt. So this trip to Vegas happens to fall during a time when the whirl is just a little too exciting and the world as I knew it is completely about to change (again, for the second time this year!) and I am just cowering underneath the eye of the tornado (with all his gray-ness), thrilled, excited, and terrified all at once.

Also, there is still the sting of what was.

The best part of my day was sitting on the swing outside with Nina and watching her eyes go wide at the speed I was causing. Then a bubble of her sweet laughter floated to my ears. A rabbit ran across the yard. The clouds were all puffy and dense. And there was no one else in the world right then except for me and her. She saw all of it. She talked about the clouds, the sky, the bunny, the swing, the speed, the airplanes overhead. She is a marvel to be with and a wonder to know. That we are merely two people connected through others makes our existence precisely so enjoyable. There is nothing to do, nothing to be, and no rules to follow, at least for some moments.

If only I could live that way all the time.

stine