"i kinda always knew i'd end up your ex-girlfriend"*

So is it terrible to say that the best thing that happened to me today was breezing into my ex-boyfriend's place of employ (not Eric's, a different ex) and having part of our greeting be a fervently whispered, so much that I barely understood the words, "You look like a hottie today."

okay, so it's not so terrible if you consider I spent the day alone, sleeping in, enjoying the air conditioning, cruising craigslist for jobs and stopped by on my way to babysitting. Not that I didn't enjoy babysitting. I always do. But there's something completely self esteem boosting when a man who doesn't have to say anything about your appearance (it's been a long time since it was expected of him at least) to dish it up with not just a laissez faire, "looking good", but an almost insistent high compliment.

hey, I will take all the ego boosts I can get right now.

the source of the fervent whispering? everyone who works with him knows we used to go out, and he's due to be married in the Fall to the girl of his dreams (who was apparently not me). I imagine that's what it was about.

The bad thing was I'm slightly depressed over the events of the last two months that I couldn't even engage in the hot and heavy banter we usually have. he even had to make up a cute and witty response to his compliment since all I could muster up was an alarmed "thank you". Clearly it's been too long since someone spontaneously called me a hottie. Maybe because it's been about a decade since the term was steeped into the daily vernacular of boys.

Don't you mean I look this good everyday? he offered. Not bad, but that's not really my style. I don't like to go the way of cloying please-pay-me-more-compliments.

Later, I thought instead, the naughty girl in me might say, "You should have seen what I was going to wear!"

yes, that's more me. cheers,
stine

*line from a refrain to the No Doubt song "Ex-Girlfriend" that I used to sing along with while imagining he was sitting in the audience and I was spitting every word at him. I did this a lot, whenever this particular boy made me sad. I also like the lines: "hope I hold a special place with the rest of them." "i'm about to give you away for someone else to take" "we keep repeating mistakes for souvenirs" It seems I am very good at being an ex-girlfriend.