taking a break

I'm not going to post for a while because I just need to take a break from all of my good intentions and life and not think too hard about why things are the way they are.

I hope you know that even though this is a personal web blog, I never really fully revealed myself the way I used to at bugsinamber.diaryland.com and I probably never will. That part of me died somehow, that part of me got lost somewhere, and maybe it was for the best. Maybe everything is for the best.

I don't mean to sound all melodramatic, but I suppose that's the tone these messages end up taking.

And if you ever felt like there was something I wasn't saying, you're right, I probably wasn't. I was holding myself back. I was thinking of whether or not I should or shouldn't. I was saving the truth from you. I was pretending it didn't matter. I was hoping you would figure it out for yourself.

Sometimes I wonder if anything in life really means anything. Stephen Hawking says we're going to have to leave Earth someday if we expect the human race to survive and I believe him. And I wonder then what's the point of doing any of this? Why am I trying so hard to leave a lasting impression on a world that won't last long? What's the point of me doing this or that? What's the point of pretending I care?

I have said a lot of things about life and I meant every one of them...even if they seemed like conflicting thoughts.

if you have any questions or want to ask me anything, please email me. I can't promise to tell you the truth, but I can promise you that I will respond.