how the rules have changed me.

I still falter, but do not rush over to a man who I used to see when I worked at Sbux who was, what I then declared: the perfect physical specimen for me. He and I made eye contact several times, but I suppressed the urge to ambush him and remind him who I was and how he knew me.

I smiled, I laughed, I enjoyed the company of my friends. But I did wonder...should I talk to him? should I say something? should I go up to him? thankfully Natalia reigned me in. she tried hard to get my focus off of him, but he kept wandering into my view, and as a tall man, he was hard not to notice.

at the end of the night, I felt his eyes along my profile and wished that he would say something to me. But he did not. He just kept walking.

Part of me wonders why the universe even had our paths cross after a year has gone by and I'd finally forgotten all about him. I suppose it has to do with my criteria, which I read to Natalia before our evening began. And maybe, his presence was necessary to remind me how important the physical attraction really is to me, and two, to remind me how important it is for the guy to be somewhat like-minded. He is one but not both of those things.

and so it goes.