when the to-do list is longer than my arm

it's been some time since I felt like I was getting anywhere with some of the more technical aspects of my life. everything has been in this weird limbo, from the apartment to my jobs to school.

my apartment, which I procured sometime toward the end of July, has been in renovation (which was originally intended to take two weeks) for nearly a month and a half. It may still not be ready next week. This both excites me and disappoints me. I'm glad to have the extra time, and to know that the apartment is getting a major face lift (new tiled floors, cabinets, painting) and I look forward to having a new place to rest my eyes and mind. I just keep having to reconsider when I'll actually be able to settle in. But it finally looks like it'll be next week. keep your fingers crossed for me.

So at the coffeeshop, when I returned, it was meant to be for a month. Three months later, the Summer of Sorrow passing (and ultimately becoming the Surreal Adoration Reigns Supreme, ahem, SARS...) and I've still been working at Siena. Part of the problem now is I have to decide how much longer this can go on. I wouldn't mind working there, but I think it'd be nicer if I got paid a little more. Even fifty cents to a dollar. I took a pay cut to come back on, since Kim hadn't been paying anyone as much as me she got used to paying a lot less to my replacement. Once I get into my apartment, I have a feeling the commute is going to kill my desire to work there much longer. I'm half tempted to seek out a job at the Heartland Cafe (since it's a block away from my apartment). Or consider the idea of doing something completely different. Oh the annoyance of limbo-feelings.

At least I finally registered for classes. I have two classes in the fiction department with teachers I've already had and thoroughly enjoyed. I'm going to take yoga! (finally after two years, my wish is fulfilled! maybe it's my year!) And, I'm going to try out an Art History class, though I am least excited by this prospect.

It's not that I don't think art history is a valid and good subject to be versed in. I think it'll be invaluable for my truthful-but-mostly-misinformed reviews over at the Chicago Arts Blog. [where I go by the name nativechicagoan.]

I just don't want to take a class that is going to require a lot of work. I'll admit it. Already completing the graduation ceremony has made me as unmotivated as possible at the thought of returning for one, last, final--the end!--semester. I wanted to put all my effort into my fiction writing classes (and writing as much of my novel in that setting as I can in the next four months).

But it's a full load of classes and I can't expect that it'll be easy, even if that's what I would prefer. At least it's not five classes, as I tortured myself with all last school year and still managed to come out on top (dean's listed, but of course).

The good news is that time has passed. time that seemed interminable. like an eternity. and that is what I am I most glad for, that passing time means healing and reformation and the possibility for something greater than what I had known to come into my life. I am keeping my eyes open and my heart clean.

stine